Don't Forget What You Know When It's Time to Know It

Addressing the question that has convicted and emboldened me to grow in the thick of my desperation.

There have been, thankfully, less than a handful of times I thought my anxiety was going to kill me. The first time my panic was ever so horrific, I lived at my parents house and my mama was home.

She attempted to comfort as I was grief-stricken. Over and over I reported my desire to go to the hospital because I thought I was going to die. My lungs couldn't catch up with their needed functioning, my brain was a mess, and my body was shaking. If you've ever been there, you know what I mean.

Thank you Jesus for my mom's rationality, because she legit looked at me and asked me what hurt and what was bleeding. After I came to, I realized nothing was bleeding, and although I was in a serious panic, nothing about my physicality required immediate medical attention.

After a few drops of lavender went behind my ears, some water was ingested, and conversation was had, my body recovered, but my mom's peppering of questions was not over.

Doesn't your faith help you with this kind of stuff?

Y'all, to this day I still need to pick my jaw up off the ground from that. It surely wasn't the last time it was asked, but the first time is still clear as day. This inquiry was coming from a lady who saw me pour over my Bible almost every day, she saw me scurry out of the house for every church function and service, she witnessed me passionately exclaim to her during our kitchen table talks what the Lord was teaching me in the Word.

She has a right to put questions to my faith. If she knows that God is a secure Helper and the Lover of my soul, where was my comfort? Why wasn't I exhibiting that reality if that's what I claimed my life to be tied to?

My point is simply this, don't forget what you know when it's time to know it.

To drive this idea home, I'll point you to where my Pastor took our church recently.

Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. John 14:1

My heart is not to give you a Bible verse to put in your pocket and wave, see you later! But let's look with our eyes how clear Scripture is on this topic. Upheaval is going down in the lives of the disciples and Jesus is telling them He is going to leave earth soon, no duh their hearts are troubled, but our Savior calls us to something different. Jesus says, believe in God. BELIEVE! Believe what you say you believe, Maggie! But don't just believe in God, believe in Jesus. The One who died for you and gave you everlasting life.

Okay, now why do we have hope when the times are so disturbing and troubling? Because we can look forward with confident expectation of what is to come.

In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. John 14:2-3

That is serious. In Christ, we have an eternal home worth longing for. We have a place secured for us. We have someone so trustworthy and so perfect that promises to keep that place for us.

Why do I forget this when I'm in a panic? Why do I forget what I stake my life on?

So doesn't my faith help me with this? Of course it does. This is by no means a call to perfection. The Christian life is a trek that truly is a place between the already but not yet. We have already been made right with God by trusting in Christ through faith, which is called justification, or "getting saved." But we are pursuing to be more like Jesus by the power of the Holy Spirit every day, which is sanctification. Christians aren't hypocritical because they still break down or struggle with anxiety. Christians surely aren't hypocrites if they battle a mental illness. We're still humans living in a broken world with broken bodies. But let us be increasingly aware of how we respond to our fear, our panic, and our need of help.

So my encouragement to you and I is this: don't forget what you know when it's time to know it. Don't forget that your peace, joy, and freedom are in something and Someone outside of yourself, the hope of the Gospel and the person of Christ.